Relationships R' Us

Janet was stressed; she had, over the past week argued with her Mother until they were both in tears, told her (boy)friend neighbour that she wanted him to leave and not come back 'til he apologized, yelled at another neighbour after Janet found the body, thinking he had poisoned the bunny who she had named Peter, loving him like a pet. Most importantly, she judged herself as a somewhat hateful person who just couldn't get along with anybody, least of all herself. When conflict comes 'a calling', it's important to start the resolution planning process at home; looking at the issues and dynamics starting within us all. Relationships are what we are about as humans. We have been given the tools to manage differences, to move from judgement to curiosity, and then to shift our focus from us to us and them. All of which we need for collaborative and conciliatory resolutions to relational speed-bumps. This morning, Father's Day 2011, Janet started to tear-up as she remembered the angry words going back and forth from her to her Dad as he lay dying. Never reconciled, Janet carries that memory and will do so until her dying day. Is there anything positive for Janet to learn from that experience? She has in my opinion. Janet's Mother is still alive and their relationship, rocky at times, is most often more effectively managed. At coffee this morning, Janet commented that she doesn't want to repeat her experience with her Father as her Mother ages. A positive lesson? In the human society, the nature of our relationships indicate the 'humanness of those involved. And in our increasingly conflicted society, we need to re-visit the values we place on our relationships, and to ensure that if we say we value our relationships, that we walk the talk. Whether people believe it or not, relationships are more than just networking, they are who and what we are as human. So handle it and manage them.